My Immortal Commentary
by BeautifulThyla
Summary: As of course you all know about My Immortal, i thought i'd share exactly what I thought when I read this.  WARNING: STRONG LANGUAGE/VERBAL ABUSE/SH*T WRITING the writer of the story, not me
1. Chapter 1

Chapter 1. **Can't believe I'm actually doing this -.- Well, here goes…**

AN: Special fangz (get it, coz Im goffik) **Of course you are.** 2 my gf (ew not in that way) **Then why did you- Never mind, I don't wanna know. **raven, bloodytearz666 4 helpin me wif da story and spelling. **Didn't do much to be honest, love.** U rok! Justin ur da luv of my deprzzing life u rok 2! **If you love him so much then why is your life 'deprzzing'?** MCR ROX! **I actually love My Chemical Romance so much but now I'm having serious doubts…**

Hi my name is Ebony Dark'ness Dementia Raven Way **How… disturbing.** and I have long ebony black hair (that's how I got my name) **Yes, of course it is.** with purple streaks and red tips that reaches my mid-back and icy blue eyes like limpid tears **Did anyone else have a 'WTF?' moment here?** and a lot of people tell me I look like Amy Lee **Good… God *rips down all posters of Amy Lee***(AN: if u don't know who she is get da hell out of here!) **With pleasure *Runs***. I'm not related to Gerard Way but I wish I was because he's a major fucking hottie **I agree that Gerard Way is extremely hot, but to be related to him? That kinda ruins all chances of getting with him cuz I'm pretty sure he's against incestuous relationships within his own family.**. I'm a vampire but my teeth are straight and white **No shit. Because they're supposed to be twisted and rainbow colored.**. I have pale white skin.***Shakes Head*** I'm also a witch, and I go to a magic school called Hogwarts in England** Isn't Hogwarts in Scotland? I think it is. **where I'm in the seventh year (I'm seventeen). I'm a Goth (in case you couldn't tell) **Not at all, it's not like you've never mentioned it** **before** and I wear mostly black. **So do I, but I'm no Goth, that's for sure** I love Hot Topicand I buy all my clothes from there** Kids who live and breathe Hot Topic are pretty fucking creepy, no offence**. For example today I was wearing a black corset with matching lace around it and a black leather miniskirt, pink fishnets and black combat boots. **You can see how much I give shit by the look on my face - U_U Also, doesn't Hogwarts have a uniform?** I was wearing black lipstick, white foundation, **If you have 'pale, white skin' then surely you don't need white foundation. ** black eyeliner and red eye shadow **How 'goffik' of you, not stereotypical at all.**. I was walking outside Hogwarts. It was snowing and raining **I'm pretty sure that can't happen. Simply because (I know im quoting Bella even though I hate twilight… I read the books before the movies came out) If it's snowing, it's too cold for rain. Maybe she means it was sleeting. That'd make much more sense.** so there was no sun, which I was very happy about. **I don't think original vampires can't go out in the day, sun or no sun.** A lot of preps stared at me **Probably cuz you look like such a twat.**. I put up my middle finger at them. **How perfectly ladylike.**

"Hey Ebony!" shouted a voice. I looked up. It was…. Draco Malfoy! **Did you **_**really **_**need the suspense?**

"What's up Draco?" I asked.

"Nothing." he said shyly. **In the books/movies Draco is portrayed as Arrogant and snobbish so he really wouldn't be shy. **

But then, I heard my friends call me and I had to go away. **Not only is this sentence incredibly…. ARGH! But when my friends call me away from a hot guy I'm taking to, they generally get the bird. What are you, their bitch?**

AN: IS it good? PLZ tell me fangz! **No, it's making me contemplate suicide to be perfectly honest. And PLEASE stop with the 'fangz' thing, it seriously annoying.**

Chapter 2.

AN: Fangz ***twitch* **2 bloodytearz666 ** God love you.**4 helpin me wif da chapta! BTW preps stop flaming ma story ok! ***Flames* no, but, seriously. You're grammar, punctuation and spelling is giving me an ungodly headache. It's just…. God I can't even finish that sentence.**

The next day I woke up in my bedroom.** And there was me thinking you'd wake up in the kitchen.** It was snowing and raining again.** Pretty sure you mean sleeting Love.** I opened the door of my coffin **How vampire of you. **and drank some blood from a bottle I had. My coffin was black ebony and inside it was hot pink velvet with black lace on the end **… No words.** I got out of my coffin and took of my giant MCR t-shirt which I used for pajamas. **-cries** Instead, I put on a black leather dress, a pentagram **how 'devil worshipping of you' even though pentagrams are meant for protection from the devil and all of his monsters… That means you too, Ebony.** necklace, combat boots and black fishnets on. **Still can't bring myself to give a flying fuck about what you wear though you have a **_**uniform **_**that you're supposed to wear. **I put on four pairs of earrings in my pierced ears, and put my hair in a kind of messy bun. **Oh. My God.**

My friend, Willow (AN: Raven dis is u!) **I thought she was helping you with the chapter, shouldn't she know who she is this… **_**attempt **_**of a story.** woke up then and grinned at me. She flipped her long waist-length raven black hair with pink streaks and opened her forest-green eyes **Wait, WHAT? I don't know about you lot, but she fucking OPEN her eyes before she does all that?**. She put on her Marilyn Manson **Oh my God, Marilyn I am so sorry you have to be apart of this monstrosity –sobs.** t-shirt with a black mini, fishnets and pointy high-heeled boots. We put on our makeup (black lipstick white foundation and black eyeliner.) **Not only is that highly boring, but that's gross. What if one of them has some sort of disease!**

"OMFG **Did she say Oh my fucking god or Oh Em Eff Gee?**, I saw you talking to Draco Malfoy yesterday!" she said excitedly. **Wasn't much of a talk. More like, 'Hi', 'Hi', 'I gotta go'.**

"Yeah? So?" I said, blushing. **You're dead. You can't blush.**

"Do you like Draco?" she asked as we went out of the Slytherin common room and into the Great Hall.

"No I so fucking don't!" I shouted. **Fuck me, she just asked you a question, no need to get snappy. **

"Yeah right!" she exclaimed. Just then, Draco walked up to me.

"Hi." he said.

"Hi." I replied flirtily. **Ok, 1) that is not a word. 2) Can any of you imagine some creepy, delusional, 'goffik' girl going 'Hiiiiiii' to Draco and **_**not **_**get the piss taken out of her? No. Me Neither.**

"Guess what." he said. **QUESTION MARK. It's this little thing here '?'**

"What?" I asked. **Wheeey, she knows how to use it.**

"Well, Good Charlotte are having a concert in Hogsmeade." he told me. **Really? Good Charlotte? In Hogsmeade? She does know GC are muggles right? And they can't get to Hogsmeade?**

"Oh. My. Fucking. God!" I screamed. **Wow, take it easy love., don't wet yourself.** I love GC. They are my favorite band, besides MCR. **MY LIFE IS OVER. –shoots in head-**

"Well…. do you want to go with me?" he asked.

I gasped. **Was that **_**really **_**gasp worthy? Such an epic cliff hanger.**

Chapter 3.

AN: STOP FLAMMING DA STORY PREPZ OK! **You'd think she gets the idea everyone fucking hates her story.** odderwize fangs **–sigh **2 da goffik **So many insults, so little time.** ppl 4 da good reveiws **Holy shit, somebody LIKED this bollocks?**! FANGS **-TrollFace** AGEN RAVEN! oh yeah, BTW I don't own dis or da lyrics 4 Good Chralotte. **LOOL, No shit you don't love, you don't have the mental capacity to write something that good.**

On the night of the concert I put on my black lace-up boots with high heels. Underneath them were ripped red fishnets. Then I put on a black leather minidress with all this corset stuff on the back and front. I put on matching fishnet on my arms. I straightened my hair and made it look all spiky. I felt a little depressed then, so I slit one of my wrists **1) Why are you depressed? You're going to see Good Charlotte. 2) I feel depressed sometimes but I don't slit my wrists for Christ sake.**. I read a depressing book **What's a depressing book? I've never read one. I've read books that make me cry but I've yet to read a 'depressing' book. And I've read a lot of books.** while I waited for it to stop bleeding and I listened to some GC. I painted my nails black **Ugh, you rebel, how 'goffik' of you.** and put on TONS of black eyeliner **When she said tons of black eyeliner, a raccoon came into my head. Anyone else get that too?**. Then I put on some black lipstick. I didn't put on foundation because I was pale anyway **Then why'd you put it on the last 2 times?** I drank some human blood **Can't forget the blood now. **so I was ready to go to the concert.

I went outside. Draco was waiting there in front of his flying car **There is so many things wrong with that**. He was wearing a Simple Plan t-shirt (they would play at the show too), baggy black skater pants, black nail polish and a little eyeliner **OH MY GOD, DRACO, MY DARLING, WHAT HAS THAT BITCH **_**DONE **_**TO YOU?** (AN: A lot fo kewl boiz wer it ok! **I know they do, basically every girl I know thinks that, but you're over doing it, Darling.**).

"Hi Draco!" I said in a depressed voice. **If you're saying it in a 'depressed voice' (Is that even possible?) you don't put an exclamation mark. I had image of her skipping up to him, going, 'Hi Draco,' in a really bored voice. Kinda funny actually.**

"Hi Ebony." he said back. We walked into his flying black Mercedes-Benz **Draco is pureblood. He doesn't know what a fucking car **_**is**_** never mind what make it is.** (the license plate said 666) **How original.** and flew to the place with the concert. On the way we listened excitedly **How do you do that?** to Good Charlotte and Marilyn Manson **–wails, Oh my god, poor Marilyn, it's okay! –pats head**. We both smoked cigarettes and drugs **So many things are running through my head but I can't bring myself to write a paragraph of verbal abuse.**. When we got there, we both hopped out of the car **SPACE HOPPERS!**. We went to the mosh pit at the front of the stage **OMG, she got it wrong, the mosh pit's at the very back! LOL, wtf? Of course its at the front you cunt.** and jumped up and down as we listened to Good Charlotte.

"You come in cold, you're covered in blood  
>They're all so happy you've arrived<br>The doctor cuts your cord, hands you to your mom  
>She sets you free into this life." sang Joel (I don't own da lyrics 2 dat song <strong>I fucking hope not.<strong>).

"Joel is so fucking hot." I said to Draco, pointing to him as he sung, filling the club with his amazing voice.

Suddenly Draco looked sad.

"What's wrong?" I asked as we moshed to the music. Then I caught on. **Smart one, isn't she?**

"Hey, it's ok I don't like him better than YOU!" I said. **Of course not, you whore.**

"Really?" asked Draco sensitively **I wanna see Draco say something like that, because I can't see it. **and he put his arm around me all protective **… -.-**.

"Really." I said. "Besides I don't even know Joel and he's going out with Hilary fucking Duff. I fucking hate that little bitch." I said disgustedly, thinking of her ugly blonde face. **How can one's face be blonde?**

The night went on really well, and I had a great time. So did Draco. After the concert, we drank some beer and asked Benji and Joel for their autographs and photos with them. We got GC concert tees. Draco and I crawled back into the Mercedes-Benz **LOL, that's an awesome mental image.**, but Draco didn't go back into Hogwarts, instead he drove the car into… the Forbidden Forest! **Really no need for that.**

Chapter 4.

AN: I sed stup flaming ok ebony's name is ENOBY ** That explains a lot. **nut mary su OK! DRACO IS SOO IN LUV wif her dat he is acting defrent **Dude, it's only been TWO DAYS. You don't fall in love with someone that quick.** dey nu eechodder b4 ok!

"DRACO!" I shouted. "What the fuck do you think you are doing?"

Draco didn't answer but he stopped the flying car and he walked out of it **And fell to his death**. I walked out of it too **and fell to my death**, curiously **How do you walk curiously? I wanna try that sometime.**.

"What the fucking hell?" I asked angrily. **EXACTLY what I was gonna say. Why aren't you dead already?**

"Ebony?" he asked.

"What?" I snapped.

Draco leaned in extra-close **I can imagine their faces squished together.** and I looked into his gothic red eyes (he was wearing color contacts **How does he know what they are?**) which revealed so much depressing sorrow and evilness and then suddenly I didn't feel mad anymore. **Ok, Love, when you see evilness in someone's eyes, you run away screaming blue murder, not have your anger melt away.**

And then… suddenly just as I -**Wait, what is that about? **Draco kissed me passionately. Draco climbed on top of me and we started to make out keenly against a tree **Even though he's clinging to you like a dunoo-what? I'd imagine that would be extremely difficult.**. He took of my top and I took of his clothes. I even took of my bra **–gasp, that bitch, you're supposed to leave it on! -sarcasm**. Then he put his thingie into my you-know-what and we did it for the first time **Wait, lemme get this straight. She as NO problem whatsoever with swearing but she can't say penis or vagina? And is she FIVE? Who the fuck says thingie when talking about some guys cock?**.

"Oh! Oh! Oh! " I screamed. I was beginning to get an orgasm. We started to kiss everywhere and my pale body became all warm. And then…. **There's so many things wrong with that sentence.**

"WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING YOU MOTHERFUKERS!"

It was….Dumbledore! ***Laughs hysterically for 5 minutes* Oh my god, I wanna see/hear him say that! –wipes away tear**


	2. Chapter 2

_Sorry for the long wait! And thank you to everyone who reviewed; _**QueenSword, rainbowpop, Moonlight and Music, Ambyrawrawr and xXiMxAXPoTaToXx. **_You made my day/night (whenever I recieved the reviews!) and im glad I made yours! :D_

Chapter 5.

AN: STOP flaming! if u flam it menz ur a prep or a posr **And you're not?**! Da only reson Dumbledeor swor is coz he had a hedache **Yeah, cuz when I have a headache, I scream mindless abuse at people. **ok an on tup of dat he wuz mad at dem 4 having sexx **1 'x' in sex stupid.**! PS im nut updating umtil I get five good revoiws! **Oh thank god, this horrible thing will be over then.**

Dumbledore made and **What? o.O**Draco and I follow him. He kept shouting at us angrily.

"You ludacris fools!" he shouted. **Best. Insult. Ever.**

I started to cry tears of blood down my pallid face **Fucking Hell, somebody get this chick to a hospital! That seriously can't be healthy!**. Draco comforted me **So descriptive**. When we went back to the castle Dumbledore took us to Professor Snape and Professor McGonagall **They're both Slytherin. Why is Professor McGonagall there?** who were both looking very angry **No shit.**.

"They were having sexual intercourse in the Forbidden Forest!" he yelled in a furious voice **Obviously in a 'furious voice' he's hardly gonna come in, all Kawaii mood and go, 'OhMigod, they were, like, having sexual intercourse In the forbidden forest! LOL!' ….No.**

"Why did you do such a thing, you mediocre dunces **I get the feeling your English/history teacher has called you this a hundred times before.**?" asked Professor McGonagall.

"How dare you?" demanded Professor Snape.

And then Draco shrieked. "BECAUSE I LOVE HER!" **If you truly loved her (and you so obviously don't) you wouldn't have fucked her against a tree in the middle of the night. You would have taken her to a bed and told her you loved her and all the bullshit.  
>But of course, the little tramp would think that normal cuz she's so fucked up in the head.<strong>

Everyone was quiet. Dumbledore and Professor McGonagall still looked mad but Professor Snape said. "Fine. Very well. You may go up to your rooms." **If I announced in front of my teachers **'BECAUSE I LOVE HER' **my reply would be 'Gtfo, No you don't, you don't know the true meaning of the word.' **

Draco and I went upstairs while the teachers glared at us.

"Are you okay, Ebony?" Draco asked me gently.

"Yeah I guess." I lied. I went to the girl's dorm and brushed my teeth and my hair and changed into a low-cut black floor-length dress with red lace all around it and black high heels **I sometimes go to bed a night dress, but it's never floor length or has a shitload of lace all over it. Nor do I wear heels**. When I came out…. **He pulled out his wand, killed you and they all lived happily every after. No? Damn -.-**

Draco was standing in front of the bathroom, and he started to sing 'I just wanna live' by Good Charlotte. I was so flattered, even though he wasn't supposed to be there **The only thing that went through my head there was 'WTFFF?'**. We hugged and kissed **…. ¬_¬**. After that, we said goodnight and he reluctantly went back into his room.

Chapter 6.

AN: shjt up prepz ok! PS I wnot update ubtil u give me goood revows! **You basically said the same thing in the last chapter, are you telling me this bitch actually got GOOD reviews? **

The next day I woke up in my coffin. I put on a black miniskirt that was all ripped around the end and a matching top with red skulls all over it and high heeled boots that were black. I put on two pairs of skull earrings, and two crosses in my ears. I spray-painted my hair with purple. **I. Don't. Give. A. Shit. About. What. You. Wear.**

In the Great Hall, I ate some Count Chocula cereal with blood instead of milk, and a glass of red blood. ** –Shoots self in head-**Suddenly someone bumped into me. All the blood spilled over my top. **–Sighhh.**

"Bastard!" I shouted angrily. I regretted saying it when I looked up cause I was looking into the pale white face of a gothic boy with spiky black hair with red streaks in it. He was wearing so much eyeliner that I was going down his face and he was wearing black lipstick. He didn't have glasses anymore and now he was wearing red contact lenses just like Draco's and there was no scar on his forhead anymore. He had a manly stubble on his chin. He had a sexy English accent. He looked exactly like Joel Madden. **Oh. My God. -.- I don't give a shit how he looks, if somebody made me spill drink down my shirt, I would go ape shit. Like I am now. At this God awful writing. Im convinced she's a chav.** He was so sexy that my body went all hot when I saw him kind of like an erection only I'm a girl so I didn't get one you sicko. **Well, you said it first.**

"I'm so sorry." he said in a shy voice.

"That's all right. What's your name?" I questioned.

"My name's Harry Potter, although most people call me Vampire these days." he grumbled. **Oh my god, Harry, SHE'S MIND RAPED YOU. LIKE SHE DID DRACO –Heartbroken sob**

"Why?" I exclaimed. **Jesus, love, he's standing right next to you, no need to shout.**

"Because I love the taste of human blood." he giggled. **O.O GIGGLE? I only know a small amount of men that giggle. They're all gay. **

"Well, I am a vampire." I confessed. **BIG CONFESSION. -Gasp**

"Really?" he whimpered. **… -Splodes.**

"Yeah." I roared. **WTF? Roared? **

We sat down to talk for a while. Then Draco came up behind me and told me he had a surprise for me so I went away with him. **D'you know I cant even write what im thinking anymore wqhen I read this cuz it's literally all mindless screaming and crying at this thing.**

Chapter 7. Bring me 2 life

AN: wel ok u guyz im only writting dis cuz I got 5 god reviuws. **MARY SWEET MOTHER OF CHRIST. SHE GOT GOOD REVIEWS? HOW IS THAT EVEN PHYSICALLY POSSIBLE? **n BTW I wont rite da nxt chapter til I git TIN god vons! **Tin -snorts** STO FLAMING OR ILL REPORT U** –Blink, blink, blink ! THAT WAS FUCKING EPIC. **! Evony isn't a Marie Sue ok she isn't perfect SHES A SATANITS! **Satanits xD That just made my day xD I don't think she actually knows what a Satanist is.** n she has problemz shes depressed 4 godz sake! **I was depressed too, but I wasn't that fucking extreme.**

Draco and I held our pale white hands with black nail polish as we went upstairs. **I just imagined them walking up stairs, holding there hands in the stumps of their arms xD**I was wearing red Satanist sings **Huh?** on my nails in red nail polish (AN: c doez dat sound lik a Maru Sue 2 u? **No. It sounds like a Mary Sue. ;)**). I waved to Vampire. Dark misery was in his depressed eyes. **U.U Jesus H. Christ.** I guess he was jealous of me that I was going out with Draco. **No, he wants his Draco back, and you fucking stole him, you whore. What can I say, Im a Drarry fan;)** Anyway, I went upstairs excitedly with Draco. We went into his room and locked the door. Then… **Wasn't. Needed.**

We started frenching passively **How the hell do you do that? o.O**and we took off each others clothes enthusiastically. He felt me up before I took of my top. Then I took off my black leather bra and he took off his pants. We went on the bed and started making out naked and then he put his boy's thingy in mine and we HAD SEX. (c is dat stupid? **Yes. Very much so.**)

"Oh Draco, Draco!" I screamed while getting an orgasm when all of a sudden I saw a tattoo I had never seen before on Draco's arm. It was a black heart with an arrow through it. On it in bloody gothic writing were the words… **Fucking SUSPENSE. Next time I see it, I'm just gonna remove and leave this – to show it was there.**Vampire!

I was so angry. **–Sighhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.**

"You bastard!" I shouted angrily, jumping out of the bed.

"No! No! But you don't understand!" Draco pleaded. But I knew too much. **No. You fucking don't, you self centered little bitch.**

"No, you fucking idiot!" I shouted. "You probably have AIDs anyway!" **Which means you do too, and now you will die and I will be happy :D**

I put on my clothes all huffily **I just imagined a two year old child. **and then stomped out. Draco ran out even though he was naked. He had a really big you-know-what **¬_¬ **but I was too mad to care. **Then why did you even MENTION it you stupid bitch?**I stomped out and did so until I was in Vampire's classroom where he was having a lesson with Professor Snape and some other people.

"VAMPIRE POTTER, YOU MOTHERFUCKER!" I yelled.

**!-SPLODES.**

_Okay, so. Sorry for the very long wait, life got in the way and I didnt have time to finish this :/ Hate me if you want, Idc. I apologise in advance for any and all mistakes I write this out, checked it as much as I could in the very limited time I had to do so and posted it. And, also, I have no beta, so, yeah... ANYWAY, hope you enjoy what I thought (Not Tara's writing, that's just OMG.) and review I guess :) Tell me what I thought and If I made you laugh :D_


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 8. **I swear to god, my head feels like it's gonna explode ¬_¬**

AN: stop flassing **Wut? **ok! if u do den u r a prep! **And you aren't?**

Everyone in the class stared at me and then Draco came into the room even though he was naked and started begging me to take him back **I almost cried at this.**.

"Ebony, it's not what you think!" Draco screamed sadly **There was no need for 'sadly' at the end :l**.

My friend B'loody **B'loody? My god..** Mary Smith smiled at me understatedly **WTFFF?**. She flipped her long waste-length gothic black hair and opened her crimson eyes like blood that she was wearing contact lenses on **AGAIN? Has she been sitting in class with her eyes shut this whole time? Why would she smile at you when she can't EVEN FUCKING SEE YOU**. She had pale white skin that she was wearing white makeup on. Hermione was kidnapped when she was born. Her real parents are vampires and one of them is a witch but Voldemort killed her mother and her father committed suicide because he was depressed about it. She still has nightmares about it and she is very haunted and depressed. It also turns out her real last name is Smith and not Granger. (Since she has converted to Satanism she is in Slytherin now not Griffindoor. ) **. –Heartbroken and sob and splodes. 'MIONE WHAT HAVE THEY DONE TO YOU? YOU'VE BEEN MIND FUCKED LIKE THE REST OF THEM!**

"What is it that you desire, you ridiculous dimwit! ***Struggles to not burst out laughing* **" Snape demeaned angrily in his cold voice but I ignored him.

"Vampire, I can't believe you cheated on me with Draco!" I shouted at him.

Everyone gasped. **I KNOW. She wasn't even DATING him. She's delusional now O_O**

**WTF, random POV change? **I don't know why Ebony was so mad at me. I had went out with Vampire (I'm bi and so is Ebony ***Turns straight and stays that way forever.* -sobs.**) for a while but then he broke my heart. He dumped me because he liked Britney, a stupid preppy fucker. We were just good friends now. He had gone through horrible problems, and now he was gothic. (Haha, like I would hang out with a prep.)

**Again, random POV change. Bit a warning woulda been nice love.**"But I'm not going out with Draco anymore!" said Vampire.

"Yeah fucking right! Fuck off, you bastard!" I screamed. **You were the one who confronted him.** I ran out of the room and into the Forbidden Forest where I had lost my virility **You lost your WHAT?**to Draco and then I started to bust into tears. ***Cheers*.. Hey that rhymes :D**

Chapter 9.

AN: stop flaming ok! I dntn red all da boox **Yeah we know.** dis is frum da movie **What movie was this?**ok so itz nut my folt if dumbeldor swers ! **Yes it is. You are the author and he didn't swear in the movies, so, therefore, it is your fault.** besuizds **Wtf is 'besuizds'?**I SED HE HAD A HEDACHE! **THAT IS NO EXCUSE.**and da reson snap dosent lik harry now is coz hes christian and vampire is a satanist! **I am ready to cry that's how exasperated this shit is.** MCR ROX! **–wails, THAT MOTHERFUCKING WHORE.**

I was so mad and sad. I couldn't believe Draco for cheating on me. I began to cry against the tree where I did it with Draco. **Gross.**

Then all of a suddenly, an horrible man with red eyes and no nose and everything started flying towards me on a broomstick! **YOU CAN'T GET INTO HOGWARTS VIA BROOMSTICK OR APPARIATION.** He didn't have a nose **Yeah, you said that already.**(basically like Voldemort in the movie) and he was wearing all black but it was obvious he wasn't gothic. It was **- - Suspense was here. **Voldemort!

"No!" I shouted in a scared voice **There's too many things wrong with that.. -.-** but then Voldemort shouted "Imperius!" and I couldn't run away.**-headdesk**

"Crookshanks!" **LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOL, Crookshanks is the name of Hermione's cat, you cunt xD**I shouted at him. Voldemort fell of his broom and started to scream. I felt bad for him even though I'm a sadist so I stopped. **My head is actually going to explode at how shite this is..**

"Ebony." he yelled. "Thou must kill Vampire Potter!" **Since when did Voldemort speak Old English? :s**

I thought about Vampire and his sexah eyes and his gothic black hair and how his face looks just like Joel Madden. **Daniel looks NOTHING, I repeat, NOTHING like Joel Madden.**I remembered that Draco had said I didn't understand, so I thought, what if Draco went out with Vampire before I went out with him and they broke up? **..And the fucking massive ROCK drops. Because we all know a penny dropping would do nothing for her thick headed-ness.**

"No, Voldemort!" I shouted back. **Fearless.**

Voldemort gave me a gun. **Voldemort HATES muggles. Why? WHY would he give you a gun ffs? He probably doesn't even know what a gun is!**"No! Please!" I begged.

"Thou must!" he yelled. "If thou does not, then I shall kill thy beloved Draco!" **I am actually on the verge of tears right now.**

"How did you know?" I asked in a surprised way. **Voldemort knows everything, duh!**

Voldemort got a dude-ur-so-retarded **, My GAWD. xD Of course you're retarded, love, but I seriously doubt Voldemort would look at someone like that.** look on his face. "I hath telekinesis." **She does know that means you can move objects with your mind, right?.. Right?**he answered cruelly. **Why would that be cruel? :s**"And if you doth not kill Vampire, then thou know what will happen to Draco!" he shouted. Then he flew away angrily on his broomstick. **Forget what I said about being on the verge of tears. I am now creating the next fucking Amazon River.**

I was so scared and mad I didn't know what to do. Suddenly Draco came into the woods. **'Mazing timing..**

"Draco!" I said. "Hi!"

"Hi." he said back but his face was all sad. He was wearing white foundation and messy eyeliner kind of like a pentagram (geddit) **Um, no?** between Joel Madden and Gerard Way. ***has a mental breakdown* OMG, why? Tom Felton looks nothing like those two!**

"Are you okay?" I asked.

"No." he answered.

"I'm sorry I got all mad at you but I thought you cheated on me." I expelled. **Explained***

"That's okay." he said all depressed and we went back into Hogwarts together making out. **I'm pretty sure that's not physically possible..**


	4. ANNOUNCEMENT

Hello, it's Jehmeh369 :) Now, we all know my updates are actually so crap. And I apologize for it. And I will give you my reason. This story is saved onto my dad's computer as mine is stubborn and old and refuses to work, so to keep my hair, I use my dad's. I can only ever update during school holidays, or when my dad is out of the house for longs periods of time. I get distracted easily, k? And today (2-11-11) is the last day of my Halloween break. Now I can generally update as soon as school finishes because the house is mine for an hour and a half, but I generally don't make it home til 20 minutes before my dad and I need to clean. Now, unless I can get home early and don't have anything to do, I will start on the next chapter and have it updated by the end of the week. But don't hold your breath, as it more than likely, will not happen. So my next update will most likely be around... Christmas. Maybe after.

BUT, because I am such a nice person, I will try my damn well hardest to start on the next chapter at any spare time I have and have it updated ASAP. And that still probably won't be until the end of November.

BUT I WILL TRY.

Reviews, will actually make me update faster too btw ;)

So, until the next time I update, Buh-Bye ^_^


	5. Chapter 4

Chapter 10.

AN: stup it u gay fags **I actually wanna punch this bitch in this face sfm..**if u donot lik ma story den fukk off! **I think she's beginning to get the idea no one likes this :D** ps it turnz out b'loody mary isn't a muggle afert al n she n vampire r evil datz y dey movd houses ok! **Ok, all I got out of that sentence was B'loody Mary, muggle and moved houses..**

I was really scared about Vlodemort **Who the fucks Vlodemort? :s** all day. I was even upset went to rehearsals with my gothic metal **Omag…**band Bloody Gothic Rose 666 **Never join a band. Srsly. Bloody Gothic Rose 666? That is the shittest name EVER.**. I am the lead singer of it and I play guitar **I bet you if I showed this to my dad, who plays guitar very well, he piss himself laughing.**. People say that we sound like a cross between GC, Slipknot and MCR **Now I like all 3 of those bands, but if they sounded like a cross between them, it would just be noise. They wouldn't sound gothic at all. Or very metal.**. The other people in the band are B'loody Mary, Vampire, Draco, Ron (although we call him Diabolo **I don't think she gets what Diabolo means…** now. He has black hair now with blue streaks in it. **I just imagined that and it looks awful. -.-**) and Hargrid **I'm going to ignore that mistake.. Srsly though, Hagrid in a band? A supposed gothic metal band? With a delusional, self centered cunt. A gay boy by the name of Vampire. B'loody Mary, who sits around all day with her eyes closed. And poor Draco. Hagrid doesn't LIKE Draco. Duh.**. Only today Draco and Vampire were depressed so they weren't coming and we wrote songs instead **–bangs head off wall-**. I knew Draco was probably slitting his wrists **Holy. Christ.**(he wouldn't die because he was a vampire too and the only way you can kill a vampire is with a c-r-o-s-s(there's no way I'm writing that **You just did, you twat.**) or a steak **You can kill a vampire with meat? Since when? O_O**) and Vampire was probably watching a depressing movie like The Corpse Bride** *Screams and cries, shoots Tara and myself in the head multiple times* THE CORPSE BRIDE IS NOT A FUCKING DEPRESSING MOVIE. YES, TIM BURTON'S MOVIES HAVE SLIGHTLY MORBID THEMES BUT THEY ARE NOT DEPRESSING.**. I put on a black leather shirt that showed off my boobs and tiny matching miniskirt that said Simple Plan on the butt **Simple Plan is ashamed to call you a fan**. You might think I'm a slut but I'm really not. **…..  
>. OMAG This bitch is HILARIOUS xD<strong>

We were singing a cover of 'Helena' and at the end of the song I suddenly bust into tears. **Yaaaaaaaaaaaaaay!**

"Ebony! Are you OK?" B'loody Mary asked in a concerted voice. **–snigger. Concerted xD**

"What the fuck do you think?" I asked angrily. ** BACKHAND THE BITCH. TEACH HER SOME FUCKING RESPECT. **And then I said. "Well, Voldemort came and the fucking bastard told me to fucking kill Harry! But I don't want to kill him, because, he's really nice, even if he did go out with Draco. But if I don't kill Harry, then Voldemort, will fucking kill Draco!" I burst into tears. **There's too many 'fucking's in that sentence. I knew a girl that said fucking ever 2-3 words. She was a prized asshole and then she wondered why all her friends left her.**  
>Suddenly Draco jumped out from behind a wall. <strong>I LOL'ed so hard at that. I just imagined him jumping out of a wall and going 'BOO!'<strong>

"Why didn't you fucking tell me!" he shouted. "How could you- you- you fucking poser muggle bitch!" ** Draco would never say something like that. We all know it.**(c is dat out of character?) **Yes. Yes it is. This entire STORY is out OOC.**

I started to cry and cry. Draco started to cry too all sensitive. Then he ran out crying. **And then everyone started to cry and cry at this bitch because this story is so goddamn awful.**

We practiced for one more hour. Then suddenly Dumbeldore walked in angrily! His eyes were all fiery and I knew this time it wasn't cause he had a headache. **HOW-WHAT-WHY…. AAAAAAARRRGGGGHHHHH! Where the hell does Tara live? I want to go to her house and PUNCH HER IN THE FUCKING FACE.**

"What have you done!" He started to cry wisely. **You. Can't. Cry. Wisely (that's not even a WORD.). Go. To. School. And. LEARN. Grammar, punctuation, spelling and EVERYTHING ELSE is your friend.**(c dats basically nut swering and dis time he wuz relly upset n u wil c y **Learn how to spell.**) "Ebony Draco has been found in his room. He committed suicide by slitting his wrists." **YOU FUCKING SAID THAT HE COULDN'T KILL HIMSELF BY SLITTLING HIS WRISTS BECAUSE HE WAS A VAMPIRE. LEARN YOUR OWN STORY, YOU DUMB FUCK.**

~*~ Ok, so! Hello! I said I would try and update sooner ^_^ I am aware this is extremely short, but, hey, at least I tried, right? I will try and update again sooner with a longer chapter but you're gonna have to bear with me cuz I am HOPELESS at this stuff. Good day/night, whenever you read this, and try not to hate me, yeah? ^_^ 


End file.
